The Expert in anything was once a Beginner

"The master has failed more times than a beginner has ever tried"

We push our limits, we push our comfort zone to make the impossible possible. This has been the mantra for many success stories which we read and listen. Ever wondered how some people find success through all odds while many wait for that one opportunity to become a success story?
In my life, i have come across some incredible people, who have through their resilience and hard work made the impossible possible. There stories are normal, they go through the same ups and down like everyone. But the only difference is that they don't give up on their dream.
Chasing your dream is something which i see in movies or i have seen with some incredibly normal people. Yes when i say normal, they are very down to earth, humble people. For them success is not the end result, but one dream followed and after that they look for another dream to follow. They spend their entire life bringing their dreams to reality. Now that is a very tall order as its difficult to even keep chasing one dream.
I would say that i have been lucky with my work to meet these fascinating people and one thing that stuck me about them was that they are not scared to beat the odds and they accept their failures as we would accept our wins. This was my learning ground for many years. Accepting defeat and failure is something which we are not prepared for. Its easy to pass the blame on someone else or situation, but to logically look at the situation and learn from one's mistakes takes a very brave person to unlearn and move forward.
Call me old school but even Gold has to go through many processes to be the metal which we all inspire to own. Hard work, dedication for the dream to become reality requires discipline and ownership for one's failures. Unfortunately i see that less among the young generation today. Google information is not enough to call one an expert, somethings are done the old fashion way; Learn from experience, be consistent and learn from mistakes.
Consistency plays a very important part in this. Being who we are is not enough at times. To challenge our limits and move from the comfort zone is something i would say takes courage.
I believe , we are masters of our fate and if we decide to follow on our dreams there is no way that we will not succeed.
Its better to be master of none, than to let go of our dreams. As every expert in anything was once a beginner.
Live life, live your dreams.

Dance with Energy

Come dance with me! Look around and you see everything is made of energy.
Energy is everything. Your thought begins it, your emotion amplifies it and your action increases the momentum.
I remember when i started Soul Studio -  journey within. The first thought which came in my mind was to create a workshop "Dance with Energy". If i look back i don't know what prompted me to give this name but it stuck. I believe , what you think you become, what you feel you attract and what you imagine you create. Happy thoughts create an environment of happiness and calmness around us. Everything is easy when one is exuberayting happiness.
Dance the most ethereal experience which we can feel and enjoy. Imagine with our movements our energy moving in tandem. This experience is what many call bliss/ nirvana. I do speak about meditation, but till date i have not understood the literal meaning of meditation. I do agree, as the mind is busy and with the advent of smart phones our attention span has been reduced to seconds, how does one really focus and still the ever thinking mind?
Ever tried listening to music when one is stressed, angry, sad or happy. Our emotions find the right kind of music for us to vent out our feelings, but if you just pulled out happy songs when you are sad, will you enjoy that? Off course not because our mind wants to feel sad at that moment. Therefore our mind is controlling every action and emotion of ours. But what if, you let the rhythm which catches your body pick up the music and then go in oblivion with that. Try it, you will see how the energy can shift and from sadness you can become calm and after sometime there will be no thoughts. As our emotion amplifies and our action increases the momentum , sadness or stress can be reduced by shifting the energy within.
My first experience with this shift was when my mom expired. This was very traumatic and sad for me. I was in a zone where it was impossible for any happiness to creep in. But this phase did not last long, as i started listening to Oum Mani Padme hum. The music is very soothing and can put you in nothingness. As i listened to the music, slowly my energy within started shifting. Its not that i was happy and jumping around, but all of a sudden, the meaning of death was not sadness but as a way of life which we all face. It's easy to say let go, its also easy to say still your mind, in the end we are humans born to make mistakes and live our desires. Therefore how can i be someone else? I am born to live life to the fullest, make my own mistakes, have desires and needs and be either aggressive or passive as my personality would be.
I love dancing, i guess all of us love dancing. The freedom which one feels while dancing is magic and i personally can be in this zone for ever if given a choice. Dance makes me alive, music gives me life and energy within me flows to be one with everything around me. This has been my experience when i am dancing.
Every morning we can predict how our day would be. By simply understanding the energy shifts within us. Some days pass by like music, while some are horrendous and murphy's law seems to be prevalent. Has anyone ever bothered to understand this phenomenon? Bad hair day, i woke up from wrong side of bed today, do these sayings sound familiar? Well what ever we manifest when we wake up is how our day goes by. If we wake up happy and cheerful with calm undertone, the day will pass like a breeze. Everything will seem a miracle and things will go as planned. But if we wake up with deadlines, stress, anger etc ... the day will be one long one, where everything will be a challenge.
The choice is always with us, yet we seem not to notice it.
To gain control of our day, a simple breathing exercise in morning can help us to be calm and in control of our emotions. Instead of reading our messages on phone or replying to mails first thing in morning. Take time out for 15 mins every morning and find a corner at home which you can call your calm zone. Sit quietly, concentrating on your breathing. If you want you can close your eyes, or look at the prana/ energy  all around us. As the breathing slows down, find the energy within move and take a journey within. One can plan the whole day, in this state of mind. Its disciplining ourselves to take 15 minutes out of our busy life and do nothing other than concentrate on our breathing. After my-time, pen down your thoughts for the day. Its an effective way of combating stress and organising our thoughts. You can check your list every 4 hours to see what work has been done as per your list. One can also take my-time every 6 hours once the habit forms and then short lists are created to do in that time span.
I always believe that wealth and health are different sides of the same coin. One cannot survive without the other. We all know how to create wealth, take a journey within to create health which will in return let you create more wealth. As the saying goes a healthy body, mind and soul is more effective in making decisions.
The logical mind wants to know whats in store for me and all i will say is that Mind a master is most dangerous adversary , but mind a slave is the best friend we can have.
You only need to find yourself, rest everything else you can google. Take a journey within from wealth creation to health creation.

We are not the landlords of this planet, we are tenants with an expiry date.

"Life is not about good answers, it's about interesting questions." ... Paulo Coelho

What is the purpose of my life? I can keep on asking this question a million times and i will get no definite answer. My subconscious weaves in answers which i want to hear. Probably my purpose of life might get answered by this counter question - What is the purpose anyway?

We all want to know about our existence, our purpose and often go on the spiritual journey to find this. We find ourselves a self proclaimed guru, as we don't believe in ourselves and words of a spiritual person makes more sense to us than our own soul talking to us. We often go down the path shown to us by someone and start our journey. Is it the lack of knowledge or lack of self confidence, i don't know which but surely, can someone take us down the path to find ourselves?

Are we engineered for a purpose? I am not sure, but surely looking at the population explosion across the globe, i am forced to believe our one sole purpose is to keep on populating the world. Even though there is not enough resources which will be left for future generations but then hey who am i to question any one's purpose.

We feel the need to leave behind our essence, is this our purpose to leave behind our essence / legacy? When i am gone, seriously why should i bother who will or who won't remember me. But then as i said i am not here to question any one's purpose or beliefs.

I see a lot of unrest which is happening all around the globe and this makes me wonder, is the slave finally waking up? We are all slaves of our existence, we live by set standards and often are frustrated by things not going our way. Some are lucky who we call haves while many are unlucky who we call have nots. The population ratio of have nots is definitely more than haves. So my question is what will happen when the have nots want everything of haves?

The war is happening among religious outfits, among races, the power brokers want more power and truth is a fairytale which we all live by. 

Recently to eradicate black money Indian Prime minister, overnite removed INR 500/1000. Who was impacted most? The industrialists or the poor public? The economy came to a standstill overnight, who is to be blamed? PM , Big industrialists, public who? 1.3 billion people voted for this change and now they are impacted by the change negatively. Funny isn't it. 

When USA voted Trump as their President, why is the world going crazy with negative comments? A nation voted their president, the impact is felt worldwide WHY? 

Questions, questions and more questions. There are no answers, but speculations and we feel great being argumentative and speculative about all these questions and their answers.

Seriously , what really impacts us? The situations are created by us, is there a way out for any of us? I doubt it as we go deeper into the circle, we get ourselves more locked into our own creations and  way of life which we are all responsible for. Yet we choose to show ignorance and ask the question, What is the purpose of my life?

We believe in successful people, by definition people who have made a lot of money, or people who are fighting for a cause. Hey we are 7 billion plus people on this planet and i believe each one of us has something to give back to this world. Fighting terrorism , fighting for poverty, fighting for power , fighting for religion, fighting global warming, fighting for animal protection etc etc .....all man made. How much is enough? How come we seem to be constantly fighting things and not building together? I would really like to know , when does one stop being an ignorant and really start being a human.

Maybe if i did something for people in general, no bias opinions  but really unconditionally help people without thinking about anyone remembering me after my death. Without thinking of myself going down in history books, without thinking about the money i have made, as i cannot take any with me in my afterlife and what good it is to give to my kins if they don't have the aptitude to make it on their own, but  just being who i am - a human helping another human. Will i solve this mysterious question?

I am inquisitive about everything around me and i feel that this is the tip of the iceberg i have touched. There are more questions which need to be asked. I am not looking for answers, i am just looking for people who believe in themselves and who believe like me that this world is our only home and people can live together in harmony. 

We are not the landlords of this planet, we are tenants with an expiry date. 

Why Not !! I, Myself and Iceberg.

Don't ask "Why", ask instead "Why not". quote by John .F. kennedy

Ever thought of a life when all wishes can come true? What would you wish for? Money, rule the world, flourishing business, good job, promotion, getting married to the one you love, big house, cars.... etc etc. What is it that one would wish for ? Please don't say global peace, we are not running a beauty pageant and you are not a qualifier.
Yes , we only want peace when we feel saying the right thing will get us to win accolades. Well, choose to disagree with my this comment then do show me how will you ever think of world peace, when our wishes and wants are constantly flooding our mind. Every single day, every moment we only want and if our want is not met we question the delay. "Why" the most abused word after sorry which i personally find used by everyone.

We want to be logical for everything that defies our belief or mindset. Yet we would never ask this question if things go our way. Sounds strange that our logic defies us when an unexpected gain comes our way, but we can cry foul and keep asking "why me" if we come under pressure or loss. How can a mind be so divided in logic? I fail to understand this and even if i try to make myself understand, i don't think i will even touch the tip of reasoning.

I read it somewhere this beautiful quote which i feel we all seem to be in is "I, myself and iceberg."
Obviously our selfish needs adhere to i and myself, i believe Iceberg is the logic left behind for anything else which does not concern us.

The tip of the iceberg is "Why" at times its to the beginning of our existence, at times its about whats happening, at times it to question an action or a reaction. Sounds interesting if you ask me . Every single step we seem to ask "why" more than accepting the unaccepted and projecting " Why not".
Maybe someday we will all evolve and the iceberg will melt.

But then it's one life, my life is what i have. If i am not selfish and take care of my needs and wants then who would? The question is not about who or why, but the question is if i want to live my life on my terms, why not? If this makes sense then i guess all other should fall in place too.

Similarly, everything that happens in my life can be looked by this perspective if i choose to be open. There are times i don't want to give any explanation of my actions to anyone. And thats when i feel when people ask me why, if i say because i wanted to or why not. This explanation should be enough.

Maybe this transformation within will take years, or maybe its already there and the boundaries need to be broken for someone to take the first step. But either way, if one does not move from the negativity of Why to positivity of why not our control freak mind will keep on ruling us as always.

Why does one need to give any reason or explanation for their actions? Why not we just let people be who they are. Why do we have to be always so logical,  why not let the inner child be there to have fun. Why do we always have to live life by rules, why not let the magic of uncertainty take over at times. Why do we have to always be cautious of what we say, why not let the heart say what it wants to say.

The iceberg will stay and we will only touch the tip of it. As all our desires, wants, ambitions, aggression will be below our calm exterior of I and myself. The two faced characters are here to stay if we choose to live the mundane existence. Life will always deal a rough hand, why do we have to live by the rules made by humans for humans.

Why not - is a slogan for an interesting life.

Circle of life

Ever wonder, why some things happen and we feel helpless. There is no pain greater than to be helpless in the face of a loved one's suffering. Yet we brave the storm and take necessary actions. Makes me wonder, from the time we come on this planet, we are faced with adversities and live life.

Some times i wish i was not a strong person, sometimes i wish i could break down and blame every one and everything around me but will this help my helplessness? Sweet November, comes again. Someday i might start getting scared of November. Last year this month gave me the gravest news of Simba having mouth tumour, which had advanced so much that we could have done nothing. Come November after a year and i get to hear that my little puppy Sam has hip dysplasia. Well life knows how to knock you down and all you can do is still stand on your feet and wait for the final knock out punch.

I don't know, do i blame the person we took Sam from? He had duped us of his lineage and his breed, but then we were so in love with Sam that nothing mattered. For me i only assume that Sam was meant to be in our life. To bring in happiness which he did. His innocent look, his naughty ways and he creating a mess at home was all which we love. If i was to go back to change anything about Sam coming in our lives, i would change nothing other than that he should not have had this genetic disease. If i can i will , i am sure about this. There lies my helplessness. When we don't have the power / control to make things right, when all we can do is depend on medicine, it makes one wonder what is anything worth?

From despair to hope, from sorrow to happiness, somewhere we find life and that is what we all live by. Sometimes in power , sometimes in despair. When things go our way, their is a ring of happiness all around, everything looks beautiful and life is happening. But when things go in another direction, we feel as if life has been unfair with us.
What do i say when we are helpless? Life and moments are still beautiful but we know the duration of these moments is limited. Thats when the true essence of life comes to play. Small things bring happiness and many times tears. This helplessness will go away when one surrenders to what the outcome is but till then the angst and anger surrounds the mighty too.

But then i have surrendered before for my mom and simba and somehow this time i refuse to surrender. There has to be some cure , something which can ensure we give Sam a good life. Not a life where he gets to lose his movement, but a good life which my naughty puppy is used to. This time how ever helpless life wants to make us, at times the resilience of the soul to make a miracle happen is more important than surrendering. What ever the end may be, for today i know the moments we have with Sam are precious .

 Dogs don't have long lives because they don't need to learn how to love unconditionally. They love you unconditionally and make you their life .

This is the Circle of life, and it moves us all. The day we learn to love unconditionally, we will evolve.

Grown Up ... Really?

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public"

Do you think about bunking your work, if the weather is beautiful? Or your friends/ family are getting together? or any other excuse to move away from the mundane existence of work? Well if the answer is yes , then my friend welcome to the world of being a child who has been given a task to act and behave as expected by the society.
Some where inside us, is this child, who is curious, fun and carefree. Yet by the conditioning done to us in early ages of schooling and peer pressure we learn to curb this instinct and live a life which is a set of "code of conduct."
How we are suppose to behave in society, at work, even we now have coaching for how to lead our life.  May it to be a good leader, power dressing, giving a speech or even giving an interview ... the list goes on and we all imbibe these code of conducts for a better life. Some where in this hustle bustle to be the best and be a mature professional we have left behind our core essence to be natural.

This dawned upon me many years ago, when i started working. my colleagues would come up with excuses, like not feeling well, or some one is family was hospitalised to take an off. I somehow used to manage to irk my bosses by being blatantly blunt by telling that i just did not want to come to work. Not that any of my work was pending, timelines were met but somehow there were some days when i just didn't want  to work and wanted time off to rest my brains. This did not go too well with my bosses, but then as my work was good thank fully i never got fired from my job. That was a blessing in disguise if i look back now 2 decades ago.

Walk the talk, is what i have heard all my life. Be the change and i did just that when i got a chance to  lead a team. I let the child come out and my team did not have to lie to take a day off. The mandate was simple, work hard and party harder. If one was not in mood to work, or wanted to come late just say so. That way the work does not suffer, as passionately charged people work differently than adaptors who are just wiling away time at work. Our deadlines were always met, projects were delivered and the team was highly motivated.

Life is fun, yet we have complicated the whole process. To be mature to me means, to be emotionally mature nothing else. There are decisions which we need to take in life, let it be personal or professional. Both ways what ever we decide effects people around us and an emotionally mature person would take these decisions without prejudice. That does not mean that a person need to be serious or speculative always, neither does it mean that one needs to be a court jester to get the inner child out. Just being ourselves at times i feel is enough.

My existence is that i am living and curious, beyond that i don't care. I usually see a surprised look on people's faces when i tell them my age. Probably to many age suggests getting old  and to me it suggests one has more experience in living and having fun.
There are times i wonder about my genetic engineering and whistle with gratitude that the funny bone inside me lives. To me the mantra of living a good life is to be happy. Things don't usually go as planned, there is no eternal sunshine or happiness given to anyone. But the trick is to find happiness when the going is tough and understanding the myth around being happy.

Let the child be a child, living by the code can disguise many but then heart is always young and let the wings unfurl to feel the freedom which one does when there are no masks worn. Passion drives us all, our success is in our own hands. We can choose to be a fragment of imagination of the code of conduct or choose to set ourselves free to be who we want to be.

As the saying goes " The most potent muse of all is our own inner child"
Seriously does anyone wants to Grow up?

Comfortably numb

We cannot selectively Numb emotions. When we numb painful emotions we also numb positive emotions.
I have heard this saying " I am comfortably numb" many times from my friends/ colleagues/ acquaintances and also i have said this myself. The famous Pink Floyd song with which i guess majority of my generation grew up with.
"hello, is there anybody in there" starts the song.
Today morning as i was thinking about writing my blog, i felt nothingness engulf me. There were no thoughts, no emotion simply nothing. I don't know what to call this thoughtless phases which i get but at this moment i feel nothing. No happiness, no sadness, no emotion other than being one with the energy around us. There seems to be unconditional love which i feel for everything around me in this state. No fear of loss, or win just nothingness which calms my soul.
This made me feel is this what comfortably numb means? and we took it to another level of feeling sad, disillusioned, hiding our pain and frustrations? I am not sure but this is the thought which came into my mind which i am sharing.
I feel there is very little time which we all have in this world. Its a choice we make, either by being happy or being in constant phase of sadness and disillusionment. But in the end the time still stays limited. So what if our thought process was designed to let go of sadness after giving due respect to this one emotion and next moment we could be happy once again? We are expected to feel bad/ show we are sad if things don't go our way. Our little EGO trips with people we love with are plenty. People refuse to communicate to show there anger and sadness. Well time is running out and we can either waste it on feeding our ego or really live these moments with our loved ones and friends by accepting that people are different.
Emotions play a very important role in our life. Our entire existance and relationships are based on our emotions. We feel many things, we also react to people as per our emotions. Sometimes i feel logic takes a back seat when we are emotionally charged. People often say, don't make hasty decisions  and don't make decisions when you are angry. Well we say all these sayings but has anyone ever concluded on hasty decisions outcome?
All i know is at times, decisions which we cannot make due to our fears are made during these outbursts. Maybe for some time the going gets difficult, we regret what we said or did, many times we apologise to get the status quo going again but what if the decision is such which cannot be reversed? What happens then?
We look at situations from our individual perspectives and judge the circumstances. But we all forget to err is human and we only learn from our mistakes. I remember as a child, my brother had got this mug which had this cute saying " I don't make the same mistake twice, i find new ones".
If life is all about a big adventure and we all make mistakes then why do we fret and regret over our actions on daily basis.
I had a regret of not spending quality time with my mom, i also had regret of not taking Simba with me on some adventure trips. But now i am living my life by spending quality time with my family and taking Sam to some adventure or another. I have limited time like everyone, all i have done is made my priorities clear within my self to have a wholesome life.
I have come across people who are confused or have lost the will to fight for what they want in life come to me to find peace and answers via meditation. All i tell them is take the journey within and make your priority list of what you want in life. Every day make your priority list, without looking at what you wrote yesterday. In few days/ months the priorities become clear and thats when one starts aiming to live a whole some life.
Therefore being comfortably numb to me is more about being in touch with one's feeling and living a life which we have aspired for on our terms. When we realise that there is only one emotion " love", many of our perceptions and mindsets start changing.
To live well, we cannot run from our feelings but instead we must learn to integrate them into our life and let them guide us.
Take a Journey within to find your zone.

Hello, I am Sam

Giving kisses, running, playing, stealing shoes and socks, exploring, laying beside my favourite humans, greeting everyone with enthusiasm, waging my tail,
Life can be exhausting 
And i love every minute.

Welcome to the world of Sam!

To sum up, this is, Sam and more. I met Sam on May 1, 2016. A small pup, who could barely walk. His head touching the floor as he would try to walk and since that day he has won my heart.
He was a surprise birthday present which my husband arranged for me. To me this was the best gift i have ever got in my life. I was hesitant initially after losing Simba, but it did not take me long to say yes to Sam.
We are not sure of his date of birth, as the breeder was not very forth coming in giving us much information. But then guess we can pick up a date from calendar and celebrate his birthday. To me its May 1st, but by guessing how young he was, maybe he was born on April 10 or closer to that date.
Our first day at home with Sam, was less eventful. He being a little pup, all he did was sleep. We did rush to the chemist to get him cerelac and sleeping in non ac room with outside temperature hitting 44 degrees. But then we had a little pup who we had to nurture to health.
Our house was transformed and all we could do was shrug our shoulders to say he will learn once he grows up. On his first doctor visit, he was all of 1.5kg in weight and the doctor was looking at him with serious eyes hoping that Sam would be ok. Well Sam is a fighter and the 1.5kg small little pup has nurtured himself into a 11 kg boy who is strong and a menace. All of 4 month old, he is a treat with his daily adventures.
I write menace with love for Sam. There is not one object at home which Sam does not want to chew.
We got Sam a chewy which also makes sound. So his favourite in his first month was to blow this chewy and look at us. This was his way of communicating with us. At night, early morning thats all we heard. And one could not even get angry looking at his innocent eyes.
His chewing, It all started with my shoes, no way can i wear any shoes at home. if its sports shoes , then he wants to open the laces, if sandals he wants to chew the top and by chance if heals then he wants to chew the heals. Maybe in his mind , if i am wearing shoes, it means i am going out. But to Sam, going out is fine if he is also going out, otherwise its a NO. So i carry my shoes in my hand when leaving home.
There is not a single piece of furniture which is devoid of Sam's teeth in it. Reading this one might feel that Sam has no chewy's etc. On day 1, we had gone to pet store to get his food bowls, chewy's, toys etc for Sam.
Guess he felt the human arms and legs are better chewy's than his unnatural ones. In our house, mine, rolf's and our housekeeper arms and legs have small teeth marks. Its very embarrassing, when you meet a stranger and all the person would do is stare at the bruises and cuts on arms and legs. I did for my work tried wearing full sleeves when these episodes started, but being so hot in Gurgaon, its impossible to cover oneself fully. So i would just say, meeting a stranger that i have a small pup at home and these are his playful marks.
After his shots, his first walk downstairs. It was a treat to see him run around and play. Not understanding what to eat and what to leave, probably whole lots of stones found there way in his stomach and then we had to feed him bananas to get them out. All plants at home are getting into his stomach. There is nothing which stops its way from getting inside him.
Then started morning walks. In my entire life i have never seen sun rise. I am not an early riser and even for my work i have always avoided early morning flights as much as possible. Come July, i wake up every day first at 3:30 am for his natural call and then at 5:15 am to give him his meal and take him out for a walk. He very cutely comes to my side of bed and makes this small noise in my ear and voila i am wide awake to take him out. The mutt in him understands if i say Sam another 10 minutes then we go out. He will cuddle himself next to me and after 10 mins start biting me to go out. Now he has figured out if i don't wake up immediately, he would blackmail me by looking at Rolf sleeping, and Sam trying to pounce on him.

Then came his love for water. One day i have a feeling Sam will be jumping in the pool and i will be just a bewildered bystander laughing at his acts. We have a fountain in our gated community . Sam has been eying this for quite some time. So one day, he ventured to get close to the fountain, i caught him in time by his hind legs before he fully submerged himself in the water. He was not to be stopped and with his head and front legs in water, i saw for the first time this little pup trying to swim. And as the saying goes, never stop a determined dog from doing what he wants to do, the very next day on our morning run, he jumps into the fountain and had a time of his life. He was amused by the water shooting up from the fountain, and in his way he tried to stop the water from his mouth and hands. then he wanted to drink the water, shooting up and tried his hand in swimming. He looked so cute that i was in splits of laughter and joined him in this game of his.
As he loves eating anything, so list goes of apples, grapes, bananas, raw potatoes and even a pepperoni pizza to name a few which are his favourite other than chewing on money plant and tulsi leaves in his spare time.

Sam diaries is an open topic and much will be written as days pass by. I just wanted to introduce the latest edition to our home; Samuel Blaser our child, dear friend and trusted companion for life.
As the saying goes "Whoever thought diamond were a girl's best friend never had a dog. " and Dogs do speak, only to those who know how to listen.

Where do we go from here?

Tolerance is our perception of an Utopian society and Intolerance is the way our perception merges with reality. This is my view when i think about these two words.

We as human beings have always projected ourselves as a tolerant society. Peace keepers for not shaking the boat and letting our small ego's take the better of us. Then how come this world is becoming more intolerant to everything?

Is it us who are changing, yet we are dominated by our old mindset, which does not want to shake the boat or is it the growing unrest in the world. Somehow the solutions don't seem to be many. Large population, huge gap between haves and haves not. Poverty and illiteracy is maximum in the merging and third world countries. Everyone wants a piece of the mature world therefore mass immigration of people looking for better opportunities.

War and terror is playing its part in shifting the dynamics and culture of many countries. Yet we are watching this silently. We get angry when someone calls us, Intolerant society. Yet we know in our hearts we are who we have become..... Indifferent.

Our frustration levels are on all time high and we need scapegoats to vent out our feelings. At times i feel when a human is most vulnerable; thats when the beast comes out. It is happening everywhere, and the maturity to handle this conflux is not existing in this world. Patience is the key, and not jumping to any given opportunity to pull the trigger, is the need of the hour. Yet how did we reach this stage? How did we let all this to happen and now we find ourselves stuck right in the middle of this mess.

These random thoughts play in my mind as i watch people. We all are good people, even though there is no definition of good or bad. Once again its my perception, that all people have some good in them. How we use this good nature of ours, is what defines us, as good or bad. Patience is a virtue of the wise, is what we have read and have been told a million times. But patience alone is not a virtue. We are all silent patient observers, of all the ill, which is happening in this world. Some how the fairy tales read in childhood, hold great value to us, that in the end everything will be fine. As if a magic wand will make everything okay for us. Nothing becomes okay on its own, there is a lot of work and we as people, need to raise our voice, for unjust which is happening all around us.

I remember a year ago, a child's body on beach with massive Syrian immigration triggered a lot of unrest with people. Why was Europe not opening its doors. Well now we are changing our Facebook picture every week for some killing happening in Europe in name of terror. So much for opening the doors. Funny part is countries which were safe from this migration were the ones making the maximum noise of insensitivity of Europeans. So as long as it does not effect us we make all the noises. Anything comes closer to home and hell will break loose. Its easy to judge others and pass judgement, the difficult part is to stick the conviction which one believes in. But then we are all good in imparting opinions and judgement. All of us are the same.

We talk about love and peace in one breath. Take any beauty pageant and the famous lines of helping economically weak women and children with global peace being the message. Ya rite Global peace and helping people, we don't even think of helping our own family many times and we will help strangers.

I was very disturbed when i went to visit a NGO, which rescues rape victims, mentally tormented and unstable people from streets and takes care of old people who are left at their gates. No one wanted to take care of them, children were not interested in taking care of their parents, neither were they interested in putting them in old age home where they would have been taken care off. No, they just decided to take the father's or mother's money and leave them as cowards either the door step of this NGO or on streets.

I met a girl there at this NGO, who had lost her memory and was mentally unstable, due to being gang raped. She had not spoken to anyone for 2 years. Somehow there was a connect between us and i would read books to her and talk to her. she would just keep staring at me initially. As she would not let anyone touch her therefore she had torn clothes and would not take bath. I got her some clothes and she would just keep staring. After few months, she started coming around. She would wait for my visit , take bath and be ready with clothes i had got her. Slowly her memory started coming back and she started talking. I am happy that the NGO traced her family and now she is back with them. Such stories are many, and i don't know why i have shared this story today. My point is, A good deed is only a good deed till it is not made public. No one needs a gratification for doing good, neither a pat for helping people "good job done". This is what should be within us to help unconditionally without ever saying it that you have helped.

We create all the noises about racism, child labour, human trafficking, terror, human rights, animal rights .... list goes on. Some are doing fantastic job in making the change. What about the rest of us? 7 billion + people on this planet and we are growing like rabbits but we have no respect for anything. Money is our new god. We will do anything for money, poverty and illiteracy is at its highest, terror is the king and we just watch. The noise clutter is deafening, yet we choose to scream without any solid purpose. Our indifference shows clearly, we only destroy or create concrete jungles to populate more of our kinds. I feel we stopped respecting ourselves as a human race many centuries ago.

Maybe this is the Utopia which we all imagined and wished for. 

Where do we go from here?

Tolerance is our perception of an Utopian society and Intolerance is the way our perception merges with reality. This is my view when i think about these two words.

We as human beings have always projected ourselves as a tolerant society. Peace keepers for not shaking the boat and letting our small ego's take the better of us. Then how come this world is becoming more intolerant to everything?

Is it us who are changing, yet we are dominated by our old mindset, which does not want to shake the boat or is it the growing unrest in the world. Somehow the solutions don't seem to be many. Large population, huge gap between haves and haves not. Poverty and illiteracy is maximum in the merging and third world countries. Everyone wants a piece of the mature world therefore mass immigration of people looking for better opportunities.

War and terror is playing its part in shifting the dynamics and culture of many countries. Yet we are watching this silently. We get angry when someone calls us, Intolerant society. Yet we know in our hearts we are who we have become..... Indifferent.

Our frustration levels are on all time high and we need scapegoats to vent out our feelings. At times i feel when a human is most vulnerable; thats when the beast comes out. It is happening everywhere, and the maturity to handle this conflux is not existing in this world. Patience is the key, and not jumping to any given opportunity to pull the trigger, is the need of the hour. Yet how did we reach this stage? How did we let all this to happen and now we find ourselves stuck right in the middle of this mess.

These random thoughts play in my mind as i watch people. We all are good people, even though there is no definition of good or bad. Once again its my perception, that all people have some good in them. How we use this good nature of ours, is what defines us, as good or bad. Patience is a virtue of the wise, is what we have read and have been told a million times. But patience alone is not a virtue. We are all silent patient observers, of all the ill, which is happening in this world. Some how the fairy tales read in childhood, hold great value to us, that in the end everything will be fine. As if a magic wand will make everything okay for us. Nothing becomes okay on its own, there is a lot of work and we as people, need to raise our voice, for unjust which is happening all around us.

I remember a year ago, a child's body on beach with massive Syrian immigration triggered a lot of unrest with people. Why was Europe not opening its doors. Well now we are changing our Facebook picture every week for some killing happening in Europe in name of terror. So much for opening the doors. Funny part is countries which were safe from this migration were the ones making the maximum noise of insensitivity of Europeans. So as long as it does not effect us we make all the noises. Anything comes closer to home and hell will break loose. Its easy to judge others and pass judgement, the difficult part is to stick the conviction which one believes in. But then we are all good in imparting opinions and judgement. All of us are the same.

We talk about love and peace in one breath. Take any beauty pageant and the famous lines of helping economically weak women and children with global peace being the message. Ya rite Global peace and helping people, we don't even think of helping our own family many times and we will help strangers.

I was very disturbed when i went to visit a NGO, which rescues rape victims, mentally tormented and unstable people from streets and takes care of old people who are left at their gates. No one wanted to take care of them, children were not interested in taking care of their parents, neither were they interested in putting them in old age home where they would have been taken care off. No, they just decided to take the father's or mother's money and leave them as cowards either the door step of this NGO or on streets.

I met a girl there at this NGO, who had lost her memory and was mentally unstable, due to being gang raped. She had not spoken to anyone for 2 years. Somehow there was a connect between us and i would read books to her and talk to her. she would just keep staring at me initially. As she would not let anyone touch her therefore she had torn clothes and would not take bath. I got her some clothes and she would just keep staring. After few months, she started coming around. She would wait for my visit , take bath and be ready with clothes i had got her. Slowly her memory started coming back and she started talking. I am happy that the NGO traced her family and now she is back with them. Such stories are many, and i don't know why i have shared this story today. My point is, A good deed is only a good deed till it is not made public. No one needs a gratification for doing good, neither a pat for helping people "good job done". This is what should be within us to help unconditionally without ever saying it that you have helped.

We create all the noises about racism, child labour, human trafficking, terror, human rights, animal rights .... list goes on. Some are doing fantastic job in making the change. What about the rest of us? 7 billion + people on this planet and we are growing like rabbits but we have no respect for anything. Money is our new god. We will do anything for money, poverty and illiteracy is at its highest, terror is the king and we just watch. The noise clutter is deafening, yet we choose to scream without any solid purpose. Our indifference shows clearly, we only destroy or create concrete jungles to populate more of our kinds. I feel we stopped respecting ourselves as a human race many centuries ago.

Maybe this is the Utopia which we all imagined and wished for. 

dear Stress, lets break up

Busy is a choice,
Stress is a choice,
Joy is a choice
We all have choices and we need to be careful what we choose.

I am not sure what are the right parameters of Stress. Some stress is good for us to be alert and creative. But then who has ascertained the percentage of stress which is good. Each person has a different level of stress which can be handled by them. There are millions of website and stress management classes helping people combat their stress and telling them how to de stress themselves.

What is Stress? Where does this phenomenon come from? Medically there are lots of documents on stress, there is enough and more written about this topic. We all know about how chronic stress can lead to depression and how it effects our body and health.

So i ask you this again what is stress ?

Is it the flutter one has when there is a deadline? or is it the hyper breathing one has when a bill needs to be paid and there is low balance in the bank? Is it the stomach pain in expectation of good marks for students and parents? Or is it the cold sweat of expectation of job or promotion? There are so many more such symptoms  which i can list, which in one form or another bring this stress in our life. If i look into this, all this is our expectations which await a desired result by us, which leads to certain symptoms. So is it our desires and expectation, giving rise to a symptom called Stress?

If we look closely and access then we realise that most of these symptoms can be avoided. But then the human nature of desires and wants will not be happy. My desire to have more than my earning capacity is one level of stress, my pending bills with less balance in bank is another level of stress, my promotion with too much of competition is third level of stress, my job security is as good as i work is forth level, my need to be accepted by my peers and friends is fifth level.... the list keeps building and levels keep getting added as our desires are endless.

I have seen people eating like crazy while in stress, thats where stress food terminology came in. Many companies made a killing by generating stress foods for the desired hungry people. While these companies made profits, people kept building their thick waists. Every inch gained put additional money in the fast food and snacks balance. Some how we seem to be highly indisciplined in nature. We just cannot control neither our desires nor our taste buds. But i have also seen the extreme cases of dieting too. To gain a size zero figure many females will not eat anything, many become anorexic in leu of thinking they look beautiful. Well beauty lies in the eyes of beholder, and a healthy body which does sports and eat healthy is way more beautiful than anorexic stressed body.

My work used to be highly stressful. I used to feel i was on a perpetual roller coaster of high's , low's, anger leading to madness and then calm for a second and again the crazy cycle would start. Everyday was a learning of how to stress myself more. Initially i was hyper ventilating and the day i realised
that if i need to be stressed then it will be my stress and my way. Guess this chain of thought worked wonders for me. All of a sudden i was less stressful and passion was infused in my work. Strangely i was not stressed like i used to anymore. Slowly the stress started disappearing and fun at work and fun at finding solutions than problems became my mantra. I realised i can only do so much and there is no way i would like to stress over things which i cannot change.

I am not someone who can diet, i love cheese and breads. Therefore i went to my first love of running everyday in morning to combat any stress which i felt at work. This really helped me big way. No stress eating ever happened other than occasional chips. More the stress , more i spent time running and in gym. The product of this was that while i was at work i was neither over weight nor was anorexic but healthy and fine. Funny part is i often used to say if stress burned calories i would have been supermodel. But in reality thanks to stress i never gained weight. My fitness regime also ensured that i had no medical problem of diabetes , high cholesterol or any chest pains which is again a by product of dull stressful life.

I personally have no problem with stress, as its not stress leading my life but i choose to have stress when ever i need a creative side kick in life. As i said, my stress-my way. Meditation helped me in understanding my stress triggers. My fears were many and i came to accept them. To transform my mindset, i worked very hard on being non judgemental and neutral to any situation. Through these disciplined thought pattern i learned to be confident to take chances in my life.  I worked hard on my perceptions, as past fears, rejections and hurt does not go away easily. It was discipline and focus which led me through the darkest phase of high stress for me.

Today i know that stress is a by product of what i want in life and is more a friend than an harmful enemy. Its how we look at a situation, either we rise to meet the challenge or we submit ourselves without giving ourselves an opportunity to excel.

Sometimes life hits you with a brick. Don't lose faith and don't stress over things.

Someday a breakup is eminent between the old thinking and new way of life.

No regrets _ Just lessons learned

I dont regret the things i did. I regrets the things i did not do when i had a chance.

Looking back i often wonder what would have been, if i had done this or that. These questions raise a slight fervour in me, as i don't know the outcome of what could or would have been. Would i have led a different life if i had followed the road which opened up for me but i was too scared and stuck to the known? I will never have the answer to any of these questions which take me down the memory lane.

How often does one go down memory lane and relook at the scenes of our life? How often do we imagine a different story than the one which is happening currently? I don't know but i do know that queasy feeling when it comes and for a split second we are in an alternate world.

I remember asking my mom on her deathbed , what was she thinking? All she said to me was her life story was written not by her, but by circumstances and she played her part. And she has many regrets as she did not live life as per her terms. For that moment i had my regret of not fully understanding my mom and it was too late for me to do any thing about her regrets. I could see the vacant eyes with no dreams but full of sadness and i did not want to say goodbye to mom like this. I guess she realised the dilemma i was in, immediately after she had said these words, her next sentence was " I could never be strong, but i am happy that you my daughter , you are a very strong woman and i have lived my life through you as you don't compromise and live life by your terms."

That was the day 4 years ago, i understood one question which comes to us probably only on our last breath. My life, what did i do?
That was the turning point for me too. A workaholic by nature, no time for any one other than my work, all of a sudden i saw a change in my thinking. Work yes still priority but on my terms. No more deadlines as per any one else other than me. I realised that moment that we can either be slaves of what is expected out of us or we create a life taking chances on our own terms.

I saw a lot of flutter and shaking happening around me when my perspective and mindset changed about my life. But my resilience to be who i am and follow my heart prevailed all challenges faced by  me from work , friends , family etc.

One day i thought about making a bucket list of what all i want from my life. I sat down and watched the empty page open on my laptop and the blinking cursor and i could not think of one thing to start this list. I was baffled and kept thinking but no even after half hour nothing. I went into meditation to find the answer of this blankness which had enveloped me. Through this journey within, the findings baffled me more for few days and then the answer came to me.

All my life i have never looked back at my actions or repercussions of my actions. My actions were necessary for me to move forward in my life. Future is an unknown territory on which i had no control of. Best laid plans stay as plans when the dice is rolled and often one gets an odd number when expecting a full house of six. I had through out lived life by moments, these moments made my life and i had said my gratitude when ever change happened.

This feeling has stayed with me always , yet it felt alien at first when i took the journey within. I realised my happiest moments were when i had not compromised on what i believed in. Sorry is the most abused word in our vocabulary. We mean to say and do things which our heart desires and then due to our fears and scared of losing we promptly say sorry. I realised i could count on my fingers when i have said sorry and this shocked me.  I also realised when i felt i had over stepped on someone's boundary, i was the first to make amends. Therefore ego was very low on my chart of fulfilment.

This discovery let me to believe that my bucket list was non existent , as my life was my best seller and to take chances to feel alive was my mantra. Was i so selfish all my life? or did i understand that each one of us is playing a role. The question that arises is do i follow a given script to have harmony around or do i paint the canvas as per my liking? I am sure we all find these crossroads every moment of our life. Some follow the script to be accepted, while some take chances and make their own place.

But in the end what matters is that we have.....

A conscience without regrets .. to live life without having to say you are sorry!!

i am

I am a thought, one day I was born, for there was an interaction between the consciousness and the environment, I had no gestation period, my birth was instant. I was able to find my pedigree of all the similar thoughts that reside in the collective unconscious. 
If you recite me I will be a verse, if you articulate me I will be an expression, if you explore me I will be thoughtfulness, if you act upon me It will be an action. If you let me be, I will remind you later.
I want to travel in the realms of different spheres, I want to feel the satisfaction of being seen, may be on paper, may be on canvas, may be in action. I want to hear myself being expressed, discussed, dissected, tossed around, discarded, and more. All of the above is creation of my progeny, more thoughts. Can one trace my Pedigree? I am within and without. 
I am your collective experience.

Road to success is always under construction

When you conceal your will from others, that is Thick. When you impose your will on others, that is Black (Dark)." by Li Zongwu

I remember reading a very interesting book " Think face, Black heart" by Chin-Ning Chu, it talks about Asian thinking and how our mindset and perceptions play an important part in our day to day business dealings.
According to the author's view of history, the 'Thick Black Theory' describes the ruthless and hypocritical means people use to obtain and hold power: "thick faces" (shamelessness), "black heart" (ruthlessness).

Philosophy is one topic which can look at the same situation multi dimensionally. Every one of us sees what suits our purpose and conclude accordingly. Any successful person must have done something "Bad" in their lives to be where they are. A common story which weaves in by common folks and these folklores are plenty when discussing about some ones success .
All of a sudden "Did you know" trivia plays and sometimes one wonder's that so many know so many personal things about one individual. Perhaps if these people instead of spending time on someone else's life had given attention to understanding themselves, they might be successful or even close to achieving their dreams.
In todays's world, winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is.
If i conceal my will from others , i am thick meaning what ? I have a right to keep my decision to myself, i also have a right to reveal my decision or will when i want to. In the end its my life and my decisions which matter for me. At work, one does not often openly make comments or reveal their will. Its all about winning and doing one's job. Therefore for a person to be open and reveal what their strategy for work is often called inexperienced or naive in business. Then i would assume all of us are thick?
If i impose my will on others, i am black? Well if i can make people react to my actions as i anticipate, then my success is assured. But then i am manipulative and insensitive to people other than my own wants.
Success is what defines us, makes us who we are and our endeavour to be successful makes us realise the true potential of ensuring that we understand our circumstances , our strengths and overcome our weaknesses.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.
We try our very best to keep everyone happy, be it our professional or our personal life. Really can we actually keep everyone we meet happy? I avoid people who are always very sweet to me on my face, somehow they give me a very uncomfortable feeling. A person who cannot even voice their concerns or opinion but agrees with you without a thought is someone to be avoided. Thick face , black heart.... Nah.. just plain simple opportunists who wants to take the elevator to success without realising its hard work which makes one successful.
Life teaches us many things, to accept failure and success is all part of life. A person who stays calm, resilient and focussed will overcome anything that life has to give. Some where i feel, we make our life as we want to. If we are not sure of our plan, we fail, yet if we are resilient enough to believe in ourselves, we succeed.
Life is simple, we complicate it.
Success is what we want, not what others expect. Therefore every person to me is successful in my eyes, as thats what they have worked for. For some its money, for some family time, happiness and peace. Success comes in many forms, yet we only understand one which is making money. Its a pity we have partitioned success only as money not by any other form. Having money,  being famous, known nationally or internationally is what success means to many.
What does success mean to you? Its a road which to me is always under construction. Every dream, every goal has a ending. The beginning is of having a dream, how we reach our goal is what defines our success. A person who has a goal can never be a failure. As to me failure is part of success.

Success isn't just about what you accomplish in your life, its about what you inspire others to do.

Re-think and reboot

I play this scene in my mind many times. Every time i get a different scenario, but the end result somehow is always the same.
Imagine one day you get a chance to witness a dialogue between Resistance and Transformation. True to their name, both are stubborn and both feel they are right in their own way. Poor human being at times i feel, actually has no say between the two of them. When any one of them feel they want to run your life, well you just let them, do as they please.
So what would transformation say to resistance, that can make our whole life turn upside down? or what is it, that we will do if a choice is given to us?
Transformation is what we call evolving ourselves, but many times we are not prepared as the unknown is scary and our little power spots resist such transformation from within. I am a non vegetarian person, for me i can eat vegetarian meal provided i do not have any compulsion of eating vegetarian meal only. Now if i look at this objectively, as long as i have no compulsion i am fine with eating vegetarian, the moment its a bet or i to de-toxify my system, insist that for a week i will only eat vegetarian meal, well hell will break loose in my mind and body.
Is it my mind resisting the transformation or it is my addiction resisting? Million dollar question with a penny to give for the right answer.
As rightly said "People don't resist change, they resist to change themselves." I would love to see everything around me change, as per my liking. But i would not agree, that change happens within, our mindset to evolve to see things in a different perspective.
I like watching calm waters, they bring a sense of serenity within me. If by chance someone wants to create a ripple, by throwing a small stone, my first emotion would be anger leading to fear, that why has someone changed my calm serenity, or maybe i might find the ripples interesting, to see how the wave moves in motion as one, and slowly fades away; leaving behind a different atmosphere. Now this change happened with external factor but it was within me the transformation, of watching the waves create a symphony of music before calmness settled again. So does resistance need an atmosphere to transform?
There are many who live mundane ordinary lives. Waiting for that one moment which will transform the mundane into extraordinary. Yet it deceives us and we just live. Looking at this one would feel that even after hoping for a change it eludes us. If we had a rewind button, we could go back and see all the opportunities which presented themselves to make the ordinary extraordinary, yet how many times we chose to let go of taking a chance and resisting the change.
"For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them" an interesting quote by Thich Nhat Hann. We always have a plan, and all things need to go as per this plan which we have envisaged for our progress. To transform one needs to have an open mind and accept the change within and around. Sometimes the things we can't change, end up changing us.
I had a very interesting conversation with a friend last week. I told him about my humiliation and lies weaved by my colleagues, for me to move out of my job, he could not stop laughing. I was upset with his attitude initially, but then suddenly realised my own foolishness. This was my moment of change and transformation. I had moved out of events, and the only reason i got back was i needed some time to be in my comfort zone to move on with life after Simba died. The time period was over and i didn't want to be an event manager for the rest of my life. Therefore all i can say is thank you to all the people who were scared of change and said lies to get me out. Had they been not scared of change i probably would have been stuck in a mundane life once again.
Still your mind meditation helps in understating the chaos which we go within . Our fears are many, we are creators of our own pain and misery yet we chose to blame any one and everyone for making our life miserable. Once you take a journey within , you would realise that change and resistance are two sides of the same coin. Sometimes we change, sometimes we resist. Thats how our life is and whoever can break this circle and accept change with out any questions will make the ordinary extraordinary.
In the end all it matters it that, you have lived your life to the fullest and there are No Regrets.

Transformation isn't about improving, its about re-thinking.

Trick or treat

You talk a good game, but i am watching how you play.

Each one of us, have met people, who believe their one chance to grow up the corporate ladder is by playing games, don't realise that one needs to be competent enough to not get caught while playing. But then many incumbent people seem to have joined the high ranks by playing these games through centuries.
Politics as the word goes is for those who believe in the false sense of power. These are the people who in their life time, can never take any risk, but hide their incompetence by wasting precious time and play these games to keep their positions.
Once i remember talking to my friend who heads a multi national, he said that fear, addiction and mindset are three pillars of stress for any CEO. We sit with a seat belt on. At that time i pondered on this conversation. Why would a CEO sit with a seat belt? Why will that person not take risks and form a great company?
After many years the answer came to me. In today's world we have many people under 40 heading companies and the way to work now is more about Respect and knowing your product and creating a healthy work relationship. One hires professionals who are most sought after in industry. They are paid good salaries and high incentives to get a job done. This maintains a healthy growth within an organisation and if one person leaves, there is no stress as the organisation is self sufficient.
No human is indispensable, companies run with or without you.
People who have crossed this age are stuck with what they have if they don't up their skills and knowledge. There are some great leaders who have always carried their teams and work with them. These are the untouchables and every body has huge respect for these leaders.
But then how do we tackle people who by playing games got their jobs and know they are worth nothing outside the job they have? What do these people do? No worth in market, no job which is available, no respect outside or within and no knowledge of the brand. This is a challenge many companies face. What do we do with this dead stock which creates a very negative and conducive environment for no professional to exist.
Some how i fail to understand how can great entrepreneurs or companies hire such people? And if a wrong hire has been done , then why are the measures not taken to rectify the mistake. Its a vicious circle as the incompetent would never hire professionals and by mistake if a professional gets hired in the company, that's when insecurities start rising of many.
Somehow these people who take pride in their stories and games fail to understand that " One loves listening to lies, when one knows the truth"
An intelligent person would excel by playing the game through work, not by accusations . But then if the person is intelligent, then that person does not need to play any games.
Those games are very different, they are on a very different level all together. Unfortunately the small gamers don't even know what these games are all about.
I chanced through this experience myself recently and was amused that, i was supposed to waste my time on lies and hearsay and try to give explanation. Its not the lies that bothered me. Its the insult to my intelligence that i found offensive.
Really, if i want to play mind games then i would buy a Rubik's cube.
Time is too precious to waste on frivolous things.

The Puzzle of Motivation

What motivates us? 

This is one question which i have asked repeatedly to myself and to others. The answer keeps changing with each individual needs. Some how the thin boundary between professional and personal life merges with motivation.

Many people feel they are not paid enough for the job they are doing, therefore companies should incentivise them. Many other need their alter ego's to be massaged therefore for a job done well they need recognition and rewards from the company. If companies do not do the following then they face loosing talent on monthly basis. It's a catch 22 situation for many companies struggling to retain talent.
Is it the incentive which is attached to a good job done? Or is it the reward and recognition which the company gives? or is it the fringe benefits which many employees enjoy?

At times its none of the above. Today's generation is not about incentives or rewards its more about accepting a challenge and making the impossible possible.
But then think about mechanical low skill jobs, where each process is broken down and one is incentivised by doing the maximum number of repetitions. For someone who is not using their cognitive abilities, definitely rewards and incentives should work. But are they motivated to do the job? If the extra income coming to them as incentive is removed how many will function to their maximum ability?

I work a lot with creative people and one thing i have seen about them is their passion to create something unique. They are driven by passion and to many money is the side effect of what ever they do. For them their reward is that their concept and design comes to life. Such people are always motivated with appreciation to a job done well. They take pride in their designs and concept. Recently i had one of my colleagues put in his resignation. When i asked him, he was clear that he was not utilised to his maximum potential. It was not about money, it was about the kind of work which was been given to him. He was under utilised and he felt he could do better by not working in the company than letting his creative edge become stale. He was looking for some challenge to deliver the impossible.
So what was his motivation? More challenging work viz a viz an increase in salary. Its a rare case is what i will say. 

But then i have seen today's GenX does not think like what people a decade ago used to about work. They are motivated with challenges given to them, having an easy job is not what they feel is interesting. They also believe in research and upping their skills set when ever possible. For them to move from one company to another is not about more salary but more about what am i learning further. They demand the salary which they feel they deserve and decide as per their need not by some inherent need to get a job. This generation is all about their learning curve and how to further enhance their skills set. They have their priorities correct, when they work they work and when they party they party. Their is no complacency in their work. 

Then i would say we should hire all young talent as they are highly motivated. Does that work? Its not about the age of the person but the experience the person gets on board which matters. 

I see many home makers who have channeled their life with participating in causes, their children's education ,learning new dishes , new talent etc. When i asked them is this motivating, the only answer i got was i need to fill in my time for the whole day. Therefore i keep busy. Now i am not sure if a home maker is motivated doing all the chores that they are or is it filling in the empty hours?
I tried for a few months to be a home maker and all of a sudden i have huge respect for people who take care of home. Its a tough job. I did not know how to fill the empty hours by learning something new. I preferred being back in the rat race to work in corporate world.

So i ask this elusive question again; What motivate us?

Human beings have an inherent tendency to seek out novelty and challenges , to extend and exercise their capacities, to explore and to learn. Somehow what science has to say about our nature is different from what companies do.

Human nature is such that we always want more and if the more is restricted then we are not happy. Is their a possibility that Rewards narrow our focus and restricts our possibilities?

Welcome to the Rat Race

There are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quite, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like... Sounds familiar?

We are all slaves to our desires! Not one person i have met in my life who is content with what they have. Its always as if something is missing in our life and the purpose is not to let go of our desires but to create more and have more. This insatiable desire to live life to the fullest has somehow now merged with the insatiable desire to own what money can buy. I love the communication for master card ; some things money can't buy, for everything else there is master card.

In todays world everything needs to be grand, never done before, an experience to remember. I hear this brief every single day from my clients. I am intrigued by the concept of never done before, probably someday we will launch a product on Moon or Mars if this trend continues.

This is the story which is repeated even at  my work place when we sit to conceptualise. Our starting communication is usually lets create a unique event, never done before,  an experience which people will remember and then we start ideating. Its a full circle;what we hear is what we start imbibing too. We are too scared that our competition will come up with an idea which will be unique therefore we instead of understanding the brand communication and ideating, start first with a unique concept and fit the brand communication in our idea.

I remember in 2008, when i was asked about my Facebook account and i had given a blank look. The expression on other side was of disbelief!! I was not cool enough or i was technology challenged human being for not knowing about Facebook. Similar expression was again given to me for Skype call. Well to be honest for me internet was at that time to send mails and find information on companies and technology used in events on google. Beyond that i had no time to surf the net.

I see people following like herds to anything that is trending. We need to be trending otherwise we are outdated. My need and desire to be accepted is so high that i am willing to sub-consciously let go of my dreams, freedom and happiness and trade off for the herd mentality.

There was a time one would meet people at party and we would share mobile numbers. Now one just says i am on Facebook or twitter and this is my handle. Wow life has become so simple. Why would i add strangers on my Facebook? I fail to understand this but now even i do the same. Some where i have joined the race to be accepted as cool and intranet person.

I am fascinated  how our mindset plays an important role to define our lifestyle. What seems impossible today, becomes possible tomorrow by a simple mind shift and transformation in our thinking.

Try the mindfulness meditation also known as death meditation in morning. Close your eyes and imagine today being the last day of your life. What is it you will do today to make your legacy? For few days our desires will play, we will create a bucket list of places you haven't seen, things you haven't done etc etc... then one day the answer will come to you.

The problem with winning the Rat Race is you're still a Rat.

What if? _ Take a chance

Life is like a game, you can play it safe and be good or you can take a chance and be great!

How many times we all have come across such incidences in our life? How many times we have met people who want something big/great from life but are hesitant in taking the chance. What if? plays a very big role in all our lives. We are pioneers in thinking about a future, which has not yet taken shape. Our actions have equal reaction, but in our mind we assume other persons reaction as per our thinking, and our perspective and then we shy away from taking a chance on any opportunity, which takes us away from our comfort zone.
Imagine at work place you get an opportunity to take the lead of the project. You have a boss as a supervisor not a leader. Now the question will arise, will my boss be okay if top management has given me a chance to lead? This is one question i see everyday with mid management. They are diplomatic with their supervisor and afraid to take a chance of shinning in the organisation if they have a control freak boss. They will toil away but be afraid of showing their true potential. Our mindset is if someone is enthusiastic and coming up with ideas, we don't want a change, we want a status quo. Lets not shake the boat, as things have been going fine till now as it is.
Companies hire new talent to get fresh ideas, as without this we become just another company, but not a company with great ideas and vision to excel.
At my work i see this often. In events its all about new innovations and ideas, this gets us to win the pitch. But many times we let a good idea pass, as the one deciding is insecure and does not want to train talent but wants to control talent. We assume what the client wants and give same tested ideas which would be given by others too. Its about playing safe, and when asked we can always say we went ahead with what the client wanted, maybe it was our costs or creative which made us lose the pitch . In truth we don't want to move away from our comfort zone and let someone else take the credit.
Often i have seen that good talent when restricted moves to another company. Same person who was good for nothing (as per the manager) is delivering great stuff in the new organisation. This makes me think, that its not the organisation but certain individuals who stump the growth of any organisation. Our mindset about our own companies at times make us not take a chance.
In our personal life we do the same. We are not equipped to shake the boat even when we know that certain changes in our own life will give us an opportunity to live our dreams. Life moves on, with or without us. We at times have no option but to decide our path or life decides for us. Question is would you like to pave your own path or walk down the road you don't like as you didn't have the courage to change the path?
Sometimes we must make a choice, to take a chance, or our lives will never change.
Meditation has helped me to focus and transform my mindset. A decade ago my job was everything, today its the side effect of who i am. When priorities change and holding a job by wearing a seatbelt sounds ancient, thats when fear takes a backseat and one can take a chance. I do know that my epitaph will definitely say " No regrets"
Living your life by your terms, and not living other person's dreams is what gets us out of the What if? circle.

"In the end what we regret most, are the chances we never took"

Timeless Treasures

"Memories are timeless treasures of the heart."

Some memories never fade. The measuring scale of how i have lived is determined by the memories which keep coming back in my everyday life, some time they bring a tear or smile in me. I feel i am too emotional when the flood doors open with a teardrop and at times i feel like a child with a bundle of joy springing out of me remembering something funny. At times i love these random memories that make me smile no matter what is going in my life .

That deja vu feeling creeps right back in me when my present moment reminds me of my past. Why does this happen to us so often ? When we feel we have moved on, memories come back to us in an instant?
Often i hear people talk about Timeless beauty or timeless masterpieces and i have wondered what is it about structures/ paintings /places /things / which can be timeless? These are all things man made and beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. What is the definition of being timeless?
My heart to me is timeless. There are memories which remind me on my childhood, my youth, my struggles, my family, my friends etc. My entire existence is summed up in this fist size muscle whose main function is to pump blood in our body. This makes me realise its not the heart which stores memories but our brain keeps us in the past every time we get this Deja Vu feeling. Yet when some emotion hits us its the heart we feel aching in laughter and pain.
When i started working, i was a hyper nut case, every small thing would erupt an emotion which was very toxic for my own existence. I was young and inexperienced, my stress levels were uncontrollable and had a feisty temper. After two decades of work i laugh at this image of mine when i think back. It has taken me many years of self control and meditation to be a peaceful and calm individual when faced with stress. I needed to change my perception and mindset to survive and deliver quality work.
I remember my first car when i bought it, the feeling of euphoria and being grown up. My first apartment , my first job... the list is many and they all make me smile like a child. Its strange how these memories string in like a pearl necklace around our heart and if any pearl falls its also brings a tear. When i got Simba home, it was the happiest day of my life. This is one memory which is my biggest treasure and will be till the end of time.
Somehow i have not been successful with dealing with death of loved ones in a kind way. Life moves on and we live every day and moment. Yet there are some moments which are difficult to pass and move on. As rightly said by someone " Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one steal"
I am not the only one who has lost someone. Neither is my grief bigger than most of the people. We all in our way handle grief and change our mindsets to move on. I consider myself lucky to have loved people and have filled my treasure chest with beautiful moments with them.

Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment, until it become a memory.

I think that the only reason people hold on to memories so tightly is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does. 

Sometimes you Win, Sometimes you Learn

Life is the best story which anyone can live. No edit, no proof reading, a simple story in which we can be ourselves. Yet we think about how the ending of this story will be. We spend restless hours, each day, the moment passes away and we consume all our energy to make this story memorable. Well in the end did we live the life the way we wanted to? or did we keep building up the story in our mind while life happened?
Am i willing to accept whatever happens in my life? Or am i a control freak who would like life to be exactly the way i have it in my story.

'The key to Acceptance is Willingness' anonymous quote.

What is it that we accept without any doubts in our life? Its a question which can be asked in many different forms yet the answer eludes us. I am.... many aspects of life and if i am willing to accept who i am, not who i am asked to be or meant to be, all of a sudden life would be simple.
Sometimes the situation in our life is not meant to be understood but its meant to be accepted.

My Life story is my best seller. One day i simply accepted to live life as it happens. At times life teaches you the meaning of being yourself. Many plans were executed in my mind, while life had other plans for me. Maybe i call it my naive sense of belonging, that i never understood the signs, never thought of letting go but relentlessly pursued my unknown purpose. I spend numerous hours, days, years to follow my senseless purpose and then one fine day, i accepted i was wrong. All of a sudden when i stopped struggling is when gratitude entered and life happened.

I have always been a persistent , stubborn , aggressive person.
As rightly said by Michael Jordon " I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But i can't accept not trying again".
This is my life story, i am not scared of trying, not scared of failure or scared of anyone's perception about me but what i can't take is that i did not try.
Every story has ups and down, some teach us life lessons if we learn from our failures while some make us arrogant if we choose not to take risks but try situations which will be in our comfort zone. I would say i have been lucky that failures made me accept that i can be wrong, not once but many times over. Yet the resilience to succeed and be myself kept me moving towards what ever life had to offer.
I accepted long time ago that i am a workaholic , have no sense of balance when it came to my work. Left this strenuous work twice but somehow always came back. But this time i was clear that without balance between my personal and professional life, i will not be able to succeed as planned. Therefore i have my fingers crossed as life happens and hopefully my last acceptance of creating this balance will sail me through.
Somewhere i feel my meditation helps me to find this balance. I teach people how to still their mind and my tyst with destiny to learn and teach this is somehow helping me with my work. As i said one moment at time and yet i feel something missing. Somewhere the story is turning, i cannot see beyond the horizon, but i know if today was my last day i will not be doing what i am doing right now. Therefore after finding balance which i never did all my life with work and personal life as i believe that passion merges the boundaries and we live what drives us. Maybe i will do what the next chapter has in store for me.
A good story does not need a powerpoint presentation but the willingness to follow one's heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become.
Sometimes you win, Sometimes you learn!

What on Earth Am I here for?

"The purpose of our lives is to be happy" his holiness Dalai Lama says it without a doubt.

We spend a lifetime to answer this one question. What is the purpose of my life? Some think its about the work which one does, while others feel its about what we can do for someone. And majority of people live their life without even coming close to the answer.

Imagine life, which is simple no strive for excellence or survival tactics used. Will this life be fruitful or will we find something missing? If i had such a life i would be in bliss and my purpose to be born is met with living a relaxed simple life. But then my purpose is not defined. I am not struggling in life, i am not moaning about how life has served me a hard deal and suddenly i am no more a victim and in my dreams i am not emerging as a hero fighting my woes to succeed. The story in my life has no ups and down and all of a sudden i am depressed as i have no meaning or purpose in life. 

So is my purpose in life to have a great story which i tell people or is it for my own sanity i need some story to build up? This thought is confusing me, if my soul purpose is to live a happy life; then my happiness quotient is the sum total of my struggles + achievements or is it living a simple life?

We categorise people with regards to their achievements and what motivates us about them. Someone who has made millions out of nothing, has a workforce of thousands, is an amazing entrepreneur to us. If someone has built a foundation to help people again we are in awe. But if someone is retired after working to a remote place and has done no struggle or helped anyone then history or us will never even know this person. So is this person's life meaningless? Majority of people live a life which none of us even know about. They live to work, raise a family, fight their own battles and stay in memory of there loved ones. 

To me i feel asking this question is like a self motivating exercise. Life being simple will lead to complacence and we will have no advancement for us in society. Till the time greed, envy, aggression, power etc don't come in equation, we cannot envisage a life worthwhile. Maybe our soul purpose in life is highlighting our struggles and coming out victorious. It’s evident in our DNA, we strive for excellence and love wars. We are the most destructive race and anything we touch; we aim to dominate and if dominance does not work we destroy. Our purpose is defined by our mindset and perceptions. If we find no purpose than to us life is meaningless and we will not care.

I remember when I started Soul Studio, I had a dream and purpose of teaching people meditation and help them transform their mindsets and perceptions. It was clear to me this was not a monetary dream but something which I wanted to do. This brought my conviction a purpose and till date I am happy in what I started. Some time back I went back to my old job of being an event manager as I wanted to get over the death of my lion king. Now if someone asks me what is the purpose of my this action; I can only say at this moment this action brings me happiness.

So if i ask, What is the purpose of my life? Probably i will agree with what his holiness says. My soul purpose in life is to live a happy life.

What is your purpose in life?