The consequence of choice

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Similarly we have the right to make choices for our life, but we cannot evade the consequences which are choices bring upon us.
We feel, we are in control of everything in our life. If we feel otherwise then we are plagued with misery and depression and errant mood swings. What choice can i have to control my life? Life as it is gives me choices to make, yet the consequence of my choices come much later in effect. Am i strong to bear the burden of my choice consequence or am i a fool to blame someone else or even life as i write this?
Many times i wonder about the choices i have made in my life. Were they good? or did they take me away from what i was destined to do? I really would not know the answer to this one question about what i am or was destined to do with my life.
I never thought i would be an event manager, my mother wanted me to be a doctor. Now i cannot see the sight of an injection or blood, therefore being a doctor was a very far cry for my destiny to play its role. Always a party, fun girl i somehow by chance got into this industry. From day one it was fun for me. Everyday was a new experience and creating new concepts and ideas. It somehow gave wings to my imagination and every morning i would wake up to have fun at work. The day i felt i was going to work is the day i quit this industry.

This choice of being in events was by chance but i took the chance and enjoyed every moment. I will not say that i took the road less travelled, i will say i found my passion and lived it every day.
The consequence of my choice of work meant no time for my family and friends. I travelled the world, made friends every where i went, but never had time for the people i cared for. Do i regret my choice? Only regret that i never got to spend time with my mom, and always thought that she would be around and fate had some other plans. Other than this regret i enjoyed my years.

When i got married , i had a choice of being in India or move to Switzerland. Both me and my husband decided that he moves to India and also understands my culture. This choice was life changing experience for my husband. He coming from a mature market to an emerging market itself was a huge change, work ethics, environment, social responsibility... the list is huge and he was challenged at every point. This one choice had lots of consequences for us, and its strange how sometimes i look at India from his eyes and I am in awe. A new perspective which i never saw or could have imagined otherwise stares right back at me many times. He has grown to love India and we don't talk about going to Switzerland but talk about our future in this country in these exciting times. Would he have ever loved India the way he does now if we had stayed in Switzerland? Again a question i cannot answer but surely the choice ascertained that he knows about my culture probably more than i do today.
We all have choices, but are usually closed minded to them. We do not like moving from our comfort zones and therefore what ever we choose is similar to our existing life and then we crib about life and why our life is stagnant. I don't understand people who crib the whole day about their job, but instead of quitting they continue working in the same job they crib so much about. Our choices define us, our lifestyle , our social and professional network. After some time the consequences of our choices make sure that we are slaves of our decisions. To break free from this is not easy and thats when many of us are looking for something else. Life after some time becomes mundane, the same work, same routine, same network, same circle of friends. Everything is defined by our choices as routine.

As rightly said " We make our choices, then our choices make us"

Pain leads to success or regret?

Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret? which one would one choose?
A mighty question but the common denominator is same.. Pain.

I dont believe there is anyone in this world who is not familiar with Pain. We all have our share of distress and heartaches. Different forms of pain meet us at every turning point of our life and not one single person is devoid of it. How strange, there are people who don't believe in love, and according to them, never find love. But there is not a single person i can find who has not found pain. Love and pain to me goes hand in hand. Where there is love there is pain and where there is pain, there is passion.
A mother goes through labor pain to give birth, a life created out of pain. Our first step usually makes us fall down, once again we experience pain as we take our first step. At every point of our life it finds us, yet we take pain as if its new, each time we meet it. Why Me? a big question comes in our mind when ever we meet the mighty pain.
Some say Pain makes me strong, some become cynic and some devour in their pain as misery. Funny the same emotions we show when we are in love. When in love, the world is beautiful and we feel on top of the world, when loves jilts us we become cynic and say there is no such emotion as love, some choose to stay in love and be miserable. How can these two emotions bring out the same emotions in us?
To me pain is the under current which flows like blood in my body and love is the air we breathe in to be alive. The choice is ours how we look at pain.

In events industry, there are no work timings. I remember after a full night setup, going to sleep for 2 hours and rushing back for rehearsals and conducting a full day event and at times taking a flight same evening to next city for once again night setup and next day event. It is very stressful and not everyone's piece of cake. But my team and i used to work like this for days together. The only thing which made us effectively very good event managers was our discipline and passion for our work. I never heard any team member cribbing about lack of sleep or lack of concentration while running the show. The award was a good show done and getting ready for the next one.

In show business we all say this famous line " the show must go on", and i have seen this in literal sense. We were in Australia , running a show and in the middle of the show my colleague got a sms from his home that his favourite aunt has expired. I could see the pain in his eyes when he read the message, and his voice had a quiver when he spoke with me on headset. But he knew as it was just the two of us running the show and being abroad meant less managers with us, he took 2 minutes break to calm himself down and was back in his position before his que to run the show. That was the day i realised that once we accept pain as part of our life, our life goes on.... just like the show must go on.

There are times when i still think of my mother. I moved from my city, left my work, made my husband leave the job he loved to get another one and moved to New Delhi, when we knew my mother who was suffering from cancer had very few months to live. Unfortunately i did not have more than 75 days with her. Life is such. My mom was my inspiration for Soul Studio and it was her words which resonate in my ears till date. She believed in the vision of Soul Studio and my dream to create a platform for spiritual growth and to help people overcome their fears, addictions and transforming mindsets.
My pain is what losing my mom, or is it moving to this city, or is it leaving my work which i loved? I have not been able to find answer to any of my questions other than the opportunity which i have now of building Soul Studio, which could not have happened if i was still in my work. Therefore one good thing came out of the whole pain i have gone through.

There is always a silver lining which we choose not to see. Regrets is what most of us have in life as we never had the courage or discipline to see through a task or chase a dream. There are always moments when we feel like turning the clock and going back in time to change some things. Time never stops, we cannot go back in time but we can learn from our pain the simple truth that life is meant to be lived and instead of having regrets in life, let there be discipline which keeps us focussed on our goals and achievements.

As pain is part of our DNA, so is success . With both hand in hand there is no obstacle which one cannot overcome.

Show must go on is all i can say.

Fear an Illusion or a limit?

Limits, like fear are often an illusion'  quote by Michael Jordon.

My fear is my limit and my illusion of not being limitless. Often our fears define us and we have no option but to accept them. How many times has anyone overcome their fears? I don't know but i definitely know that the one who fears nothing, is the most dangerous individual on this planet.
Without this bargaining chip, we have nothing. As we have learnt to find people's weaknesses and how to play with them. Our world, personal or professional thrives on this and we call ourselves masters of getting what we want by using simple parlour tricks.

Overcoming my fear's has been my goal for the longest time. I have let go of most of them but still fear of being in closed small places termed as claustrophobia is something i am still trying to get over.
Instead of taking this as my disadvantage, i ensure that i am in large open spaces and enjoy the little luxuries which due to my fear i am forced into. Somehow back of my mind i don't think i want to overcome my this one fear. Reason is simple i enjoy the large spaces and no one would ever ask me to visit small scrappy spaces due to my this fear. This fear suits my purpose and therefore why should i think about letting go of this. Many a times our fears have built our lifestyles and its scary to move from the known to the unknown. If my limits make me happy why should i aspire for limitless, its an unknown, uncharted territory.

My choices are ascertained by what i want in life and thankfully fear has not got into any of my choices. I remember while hiring my senior people, i wanted leaders who would be independent in their decision making and grow the business. People with hunger who would one day like to take my position. I enjoyed seeing the banter which my senior people would get into and many a times deliver an impossible task. Was i fearful of losing my job to one of them? No, in fact i was happy that there were couple of leaders which were getting ready to meet the challenge. The day i decided to retire i was happy that i was handing the job to a very competent and talented individual.

Our Soul is limitless, yet we create limits for ourselves. Our fears are many, and our ego enjoys ruling our fears and we in turn end up living half life.

My favourite hobby is watching people, in our hectic life everyone is so busy looking down at their mobile and walking that many people don't realise the body language they emit. A well dressed woman, a style statement and yet biting her lips with nervousness , a busy business man walking with a purpose to close a deal yet you see sweat dripping down from his forehead, or fist clinching as walking, small little giveaways of our fears. I have many a times in my meeting just sat down and observed my clients and have learnt more about them while i have been just observing them than trying to make a point with my presentation. I will say this that my best closures and negotiations have happened observing people in my meetings than going all out to sell the concept.

Fear cannot be defined but felt. Every one has there stories and what they are fearful of. A tyrant boss or parent, losing your loved ones, losing your job, losing your youth, losing your wealth, fear of talking to strangers ... etc etc.

Our fears come to life when we think about them. Once again i say that 'Still your mind' meditation helps people overcome their fears. Once our mind is in control, imagination will not find wings to play with us. Slowly we start understanding the nature of our fears and constructively we can work towards coming to terms with them. This transformation is called 'Emotional Maturity'.

In this limitless world the choice is ours to live in fear or in its illusion.

We are all living our choices. The question is the choices we are making of hope or out of fear?

Love has no boundaries

Love has no culture, boundaries, race, gender and religion. It is said, love is never planned it Happens!

In a world where we are all struggling to be ahead and sadly most are complete control freaks, how can an emotion like love be left uncontrolled? We have created boundaries of land, religion, race, money, education... the list goes on and very sadly we have also ventured into creating boundaries for love. An emotion so pure, yet the human mind cannot fathom the chance of letting love grow. We have this narrow minded vision of world and intend to stay in this tunnel of darkness with our idea of a glorious perfect world. In a world where a society decides the parameters of love.
Falling in love is magical, it brings the best in us out. The whole world looks beautiful and time has no place when one is in love. I love myself equally as i love any one in my life. If i am incapable of loving myself, then how can i love any one else? Same way i love everything in this world, Unconditionally. Yes unconditional love which expects nothing in return other than a feeling of love which resounds in the universe. All religion talk about love. To me it is universal consciousness which one can feel. This feeling of connecting with this consciousness is Love.
So what is love in our world? An emotion which makes me happy? or a universal bond which we all share yet choose to disengage ourselves for our selfish needs and desires? Pleasure is what we can experience outside and love is what makes us alive inside. We are a by product of what people believe and therefore we all feel love is nothing more than a process which needs to be followed as per the norms of society.
The age old rue with love being sacrifice is very alien to me. Why would i sacrifice my love for what? If two people love each other, want to spend rest of their lives together, why would any society put boundaries on their love? This is one question which i am incapable of understanding.
I have seen people behaving oddly if there is a cross race / religion love. Friends forget family are betting on how long will the love or marriage last. Pathetic is all i can say, betting on how long will their love last? What our mind cannot understand, instills fear inside us. The result of this fear is that we feel we are loosing control and once that thought passes our mind, well you see traditions, rituals what ever the week mind can conjure up is thrown as rules of society.
For many years transgender love was taken as taboo and still is an offence in many countries. How can people of same sex love each other, this is not what we need in our society. Really? Who decides this? Probably people who have compartmentalised their feelings and purpose in life. How can i call a person "Queer" if that person loves same sex person? Why will that person be called any names other than respecting the individuals choice of love. And why should anyone be at mercy of society to legalise their love? Why is the question.
I agree sick and queer are many people in this world who believe in having sex with children, or a father forcing himself on his daughter, or sex slaves (prostitution) which has crossed enormous proportions in this perfect world of ours. Rape is on all time high, honour killings in certain sects of society are also prevalent.
But why would this society try to curb two people of same sex wanting to spend their life together as Taboo? It scares the living day lights out of many to accept these relationships, therefore as moral police of society, they call upon traditions, religion and society to make laws of who one can be with.
I am surprised that human beings have in their endeavour to rule the world, are also ruling the only emotion which binds us.
I am glad that few mature countries have come forward after years of debate to legalise same gender marriages. The world is changing and hopefully the hate and fear will reside in other parts of the world for people to have a right to choose their love and life partner.
Love sets us free, love is love with no name, no gender, no boundaries.