Remember Yourself

There comes a spiritual moment, among all of us and that at times, is the turning point for many to follow our heart.

I don't know when my turning point happened. Was it when i was 3 years and told my mom that i am not scared of God and that god is within me.

or was it that when i told her,  take care of me and i will make everything happen for you. This sounds strange coming from a 3 year old or a 5 year old. But somehow it was said, with no logic behind.

Many times its said that renouncing our desires, and keeping a calm mind, accepting everything one finds nirvana.

Now if i don't know my desires or i have not lived my desires, what am i renouncing? It's confusing to me to renounce, as long as i live the desire and the desire is not living me, whats there to renounce. I feel detachment should be the word than renouncing, but then neither am i a saint, nor a literary person to debate.

Somehow this renouncing, attaining nirvana is very intriguing and to go further within the journey i took on the task of understanding what this means. 

I found something which baffled me initially, overtime i would meditate the only question which came to me was "Remember yourself"

Now i was confused, remember myself as in how? 

How many of us go through the journey called life and live different roles? How many of us find our lives interweaving and interconnecting with all our desires and frustrations? How many of us play different roles in different relationships, and how many of us remember who we are?

We spend years , trying to find bliss, we spend all our time in finding the right guru, we spend each moment, clinging to some one else's words and somehow never find anything. 

Somehow i felt that i was doing something wrong with my meditation, it was not nirvana which i really wanted, i just wanted myself. 

I am born a human, i am born to make mistakes as i am a human. I am born with desires, i am born with attraction, i am born with hunger, i am born with greed, deceit, aggression, killer instinct, i am just a human.

This is who i am, now if you ask a lion to become a vegetarian, who is a fool here? My innate nature is who i am, i can let go of I to become what? 

I am not a disciple, never was meant to be a slave, i am a free thinker, i am who? Too scared to even imagine the "who". This is our conditioning, this is our legacy to the coming generations.

The answer lies within, to me finding myself is my Nirvana. 

I am the Universe.

Now lets live life as it unfolds its beauty.